I have written much on the topic of forgiveness on Monday. While there is still much more that can be said about forgiveness, I do not wish to overload us with too much to think about in a short time. So, today I will try to rehash what I have already written in the hope that we will deepen our understanding of what we already know.
I really like Chris Braun’s definition of forgiveness. So, let me give it to you again.
Forgiveness is the commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability and to be reconciled to that person, although not all consequences are necessarily eliminated.
I think it is thoroughly biblical and very helpful.
The important thing to remember here is the purpose of forgiveness. The purpose of forgiveness is not primarily to make the offended feel better about the offender. We know this because of how the Bible tells us to forgive: as the LORD forgave us (Colossians 3:13). Our forgiveness of others is meant to model and display the forgiveness we have in Christ. And the God’s forgiveness of our sins is not to make him feel better. His forgiveness of our sins is the necessary action that leads to reconciliation. He desires to bring his lost sheep back home but his holiness requires that our sin be dealt with. Jesus died for our sins, but the “transaction,” so to speak, that applies his death as payment for our sins is when God forgives repentant sinners. So, the purpose of forgiveness is to reconcile repentant sinners to God. Sure there is an “emotional” benefit for God. He is pleased to show mercy. But his emotional well-being is not dependent on our response.
The same goal of reconciliation is what drives our forgiveness of others. Forgiveness is a relationship rebuilder. There cannot be reconciliation in our relationships if there is no forgiveness of sins.
Here is an example.
Let’s say that I was standing around with some guys from church and someone started to gossip about one of our members (let’s call him Eli). And instead of cutting off the conversation as I should, I continue to pile on Eli.
Later Eli gets word that I was speaking ill of him, and he confronts me about it. I tell him, “Eli, you are right. I sinned against God and you by talking about you in this way. I realize I was wrong, and I am sorry. I will not do it again. Will you forgive me?”
At this point our relationship has been injured. Eli’s feelings are hurt; he may even be angry with me. He doubts that he can trust me. Our friendship is on the line.
We need to be reconciled. We need to get this sin out from between us so we can be friends again.
If Eli wants our relationship to return to what it was before I sinned against him, then he must forgive me. That means he must commit to release me from his “prison.” He can’t remain angry with me. He has to let that go. He must graciously (because I sure don’t deserve it!) pardon my sin, trusting it to God. He must be convinced that I am truly repentant. If our relationship is to return to its previous level of trust and love, then He needs to know that I do not intend to go around and do him harm. Then we can be reconciled.
But all of this hinges on my repentance. If am sorry for hurting him, meaning that I feel guilty that I got caught, and the only reason I am apologizing is I want to feel better about myself, then we cannot be reconciled. The reason is that in that case I love myself more than I love Eli. I do not care about his well-being. I only care about me. That kind of relationship cannot be reconciled.
Forgiveness is a difficult thing. It requires that we treat sin as seriously as God does. It requires that we put other peoples feeling and needs before our own. It requires that we humble ourselves and admit where we are wrong.
In other words it can only be accomplished in the grace of Jesus Christ. We “put on” forgiveness by allowing Christ to shine forth from our lives. We faithfully and obediently forgive others because we want to show how great and glorious God’s forgiveness of our sins truly is.
PS There were no “Eli’s” harmed in the making of this blog post… at least, not that I know of.
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